Weekends ago,i was conversing with a feminist friend of mine about the differences between the sexes,we must have been bored because we got talking about whose sex was better,the male or the female.Now i agree this topic is time worn and as trivial as following Serena Williams on twitter and i would rather plait my eyebrows before discussing such topic with anyone but the brunt of popular opinion focuses on cues that lead to the sexes’s distinct behaviours,just for laughs,this blog reflects my thoughts on the happenings in a woman’s world as imagined by me.Just my thoughts,right or wrong,granted on an unbiased level field,seriously what would a world ruled by women feel like?
Since we are definitely biased and supposedly from different planets and acclimated to each planet’s society and customs,it got my inspirational juice flowing.I have not given my friend a plausible answer yet(after reeling off a number of songs that extolled the virtues of the woman from tupac’s ‘dear mama’ to shaggy’s strength of a woman’).Who cares about which sex is better,lets just hunt and gather berries together ,well the women engagly actively in the latter.I am not giving her an answer,i would feel like Neyo when it got out that he wrote Beyonce’s irreplaceable,and with the look on her face,i dont think a sacarstic response would suffice.
I didnt want to offend her and i didnt want to disappoint my gender and suffer a guilt trip,needless to say,we parted on a dour note.We can argue till the cows come home but at the day,it is going to only boil down to one’s perspective.
IF IT WAS A WOMAN’S WORLD.
Chewing gum would sell faster than beer,I would probably be lactating so i can breastfeed the baby also i would babysit no matter my status.hmmmm.I would probably get jail term for staying out late and keeping her up and also for leaving the toilet seat up.Wait a minute,guns would only be legal when i cheat on her,now that would put the fear of God in me to the extent that i will not fall asleep while she is still talking about her hectic day and never bothering to listen to mine.
I would have to sleep face down on the marble floor naked when she is on her period,at the restaurant,male strangers are allowed to open the door and pull out her chair whether i am there or not without trying to chat her up.I must say ‘honey,am home’ whether tired or not,she would hit me across the face with her handbag if i tried to look at other women.There would be a word in the dictionary for men that have an excessive appetite for sex since they have got ‘nymphomaniac’,there would be a timetable for sex and when she is not in the mood,i would have to give her a backrub or a footrub.My female friends,if she allows me have any must be either tomboys,lesbians or downright ugly,she would read my text messages at will.I will take her shopping five days in a week,the other two days,she would visit her friends or her parents.
Every man would wear a T shirt on friday with ‘what a man can do,a woman can do better’ inscribed on it.I would buy property in her name and we would have a joint account,she wouldnt care if it is a life and death situation if she asked me to buy sanitary pads for her and since we both have alibis and assholes,i better not be friends with my ex….
There you have it,this is a woman’s world in my mind,the last thing a woman wants is to be gender stereotyped in social matters or any other matter,particularly the feminists.I met one in school who went as far as debating the customary right of the man to be on top in the missionary position(gist for another day).Why broach a sensitive and controversial,why cant we just talk about the simple things like trptophan or counterespionage,lol.
all sentiments,bias and bullshit aside,i think Beyonce Knowles”who run the world’ sucks…